why the hell...

am i still awake at 4:00 in the fucking morning??? shit it's going to be a long day!

MBM

autism

so one of the benifits of my job is that i have lots of time off. one of the drawbacks of my job is that i have lots of time off, thus time to think, ponder, waste time. so there i was at a local coffee place just having an iced americano and reading when a man sitting outside caught my eye. he was displaying autistic tendancies such as bobbing back and forth and basic disassociation with his surroundings. i was simply mystified by him. he then took out a cigarette and placed it in his mouth with his left hand, and immediately took it out again with his right. he then put it in with his right hand, and took it out with his left. this went on for several minutes with no alteration unless he missed his mouth (which he did a few times), then he would use the same hand again. he had his lighter in his right hand, and would go to light his cigarette, but wouldn't, and the hand passing would continue again. finally, he was happy with the placement of the cigarette and lit it. i will compare the way this guy smoked that cigarette with the way someone chugs a beer. he used the same hand, and same inhale and same exhale for the entire cigarette, and took that baby down to the filter in maybe a minute. he then dropped it and continued rocking. i found it fascinating.

MBM

i am inspired and touched

ran across this video, and apparently this guy is an internet sensation. all i know is that his simple act of going for his dreams, and traveling the world touch me. time for a change maybe??? i think the music adds to my mood. the song is sweet lullaby by deep forest and it makes my heart both happy and sad at the same time.

now, how can i be mr bad mood when.....

bats
Originally uploaded by mpyre9.

someone (i don't know who), sends me a lovely picture book called bats at the beach to help "mend my broken heart" as a result of the bat i hit a week or so ago. if you read this, i thank you from the bottom of my heart. the cover with the cricket legs coming out of the marshmallow just plain makes me smile. i humbly thank you once again for your kindness.

mbm

sad

i am very sad today. don't want to talk about it, just want to say it.

msm